Sunday, October 25, 2009

Drama Drama Drama!

What do you think of when you think High School? One of the top things is DRAMA! Not so much among boys I assume but a lot among girls. There is ALWAYS something happening that is the center of attention. Susy said this about Sally. Kristen is flirting with Morgans boyfriend. Sarah bought the same pair of shoes that Jessica had first. I find this all completely stupid and a major waste of time. This has been a horrible week for me because of drama. And I got to realize why is it so horrible? Some of my friends thought I was doing something that I was most definitely not. Or I felt I wasnt. When my friend confronted me about it I was really thrown for a loop. I couldnt eat or sleep or concentrate on anything because I thought my friend was mad at me. When I told the friend that called me that I didnt want to talk to the other girl about this problem to avoid drama but she could call me if she was upset I didnt hear anything back from her. But then I found out my friend was extrememly upset with me. I was devastated. The whole week everything I think about, everything I do is based off of this situation. It is controlling my life. They might not think that what they said was that big of a deal or the fact that they are mad at me is a big deal but to me my friends and family are everything. Without them I would be lost. Even if I am not as close of friends with some of my friends than others I still am just as devastated when something comes between us. This whole week this situation I am in has been like a puppet master and I am the little marionette just dancing to its whim. It has been eating away at me like a crow picks at a dead raccoon carcus. Why? Why is this so important to me that it makes me feel this bad? I know I shouldnt get this upset about rumors or what people think about me but it really does get to me. I am trying to stop that about myself. What does get to me is when friends are mad at me. I know that usually my friends will get over it in a day or so but just the thought of losing a friend for good scared the crap out of me. Everytime a friend doesnt talk to me I cant help but wonder, what if this friend never speaks to me again. What if this is it and I never get to see her again and things never go back to the way they were. Sometimes you have to just let things cool over and simmer for a while until they go back to normal. I have found that if you just leave something be and dont continue to annoy it and agitate it most things resolve themselves. Why do girls feel the need to create such drama in the first place? Are we so bored with our lives that we have nothing better to do than just bring up stupid things to fight and nit pick about. Some of the things I have fought with my friends about has been really dumb let me tell you. I am by no means an angelic child who never causes drama of her own let me tell you that but after this event that happened to me this week I have made a goal to cause as little drama as possible. I want to have fun my highschool year that includes not losing any friends over stupid problems. I know that just because I will try not to cause drama drama wont start around me. It will and I understand that but I am going to try my best to ignore it and move on. Because if you think about it really what is so important that is going to change our lives in highschool? Non of the drama really matters when you dig down deep to the center of it. Thats why I am choosing to ignore drama and steer clear of it. I understand that this is harder than it sounds and I realize it is going to take a tough skin to do but I think in the end it will make me a better person. I hope my friends can see the light in this new way of life too. So lets hear it for a drama free year! (Hopefully;D)


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