Life

So my good friend Chandini inspired me to start blogging again.  I have thought about it a couple times before when I was really emotional or just had a really strong opinion about something.  The last time I blogged was when I was a junior for my AP Lang class.  That brings back memories.  It seems like everything now brings back memories.  Now that I am in college and everything is new there is so much to look back on and reminisce about.  I miss so much here.  I miss my best friends who could make me laugh when I was crying, who I could get the best advice from at all hours of the night, who knew me almost better than I knew myself.  I miss my family, although I hate to say it not as much s I thought I would, I'm enjoying my freedom a bit more.  I miss the activities I was in, like band and speech.  I'm on the speech team here at Wartburg but it is not the same as high school speech.  The same goes for band.  I have to do band to get scholarship money but it is so much different than high school band.  I'm realizing though that's the way things are supposed to be, it's college, it isn't high school.  If things weren't any different what would be the point of graduating?  We would just get our degrees from high school and nothing would change and life would be amazing right?  Don't get me wrong.  I am ecstatic to be at college. I am loving meeting new people and starting new relationships, trying new things and figuring out who I am and what works best for me.  I love having my freedom but every now and then I get a wave of sadness.  I feel like I'm the only one still having these issues too.  Like I should be moved on by now.  My biggest fear is that I will be forgotten by all the old people I care most about.  They will move on and have happy lives but I will still be thriving to hang out with them and...I don't know.  This whole college thing sure is a roller coaster of emotions.  I am having a lot of fun though.  My roommate and I recently had a sentimental bonding moment and it's safe to say we know A LOT about each other now.  I'm glad I can actually relate to my roommate though and she is more than just the girl I room with.  I can see her being a good friend too.  There is also this boy....which is terrifying.  I mean yeah, I'm not going to lie, finding a boy was definitely on the top of my college to do list but now that I have found someone who reciprocates the feelings the commitment thing kind of gives me the chills.  I guess I just don't want to get my heart broken YET again.  So I have decided to take it slow...and let things happen, ON MY TERMS.  I'll keep you posted.  Also this is dedicated to Chandini who has become a new good friend of mine this summer.  Her blog post made me decide to do this...I'm not copying you I promise!!!!  Thanks for the inspiration.  She is a beautiful person inside and out and I hope she is one of the people that doesn't forget about little old me.